Malformation, by Nicola Bray (Australia, 2023), explores themes around AVM-related stroke, medical and physical disability, and the process of recovery as experienced by teenagers. The film takes a patient, observational approach, offering quiet moments that reflect on change, resilience and the practical realities of adapting to a new body. It does not shy away from difficult questions, yet remains grounded and humane. Malformation sits within the Focus on Ability festival as a sensitive contribution that highlights the abilities and everyday achievements of young people with disability, and invites audiences to listen, learn and consider different pathways through recovery.
Tell me exactly what's happened. My daughter, I've just got a call that she's not breathing. How old is she? She's 17. What made you aware that she was in this condition? She was, she sort of screamed. Sorry, you're on speaker. Alright. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's her. Okay. Yeah. Right. Okay. What's her first name? All in all, just carefree, no worries really. I was that girl. On the 30th of November, we had a family outing in the afternoon. That night I got ready for bed and that's all I remember until the middle of December. I was put into a coma for two weeks. During and after, I experienced ICU delirium, a phenomenon which is found in long-term ICU patients due to the heavy medication. I hallucinated that people were trying to kill me even after I was more aware physically because of the AVM. I had weakness in my left side and nonexistent movement on my right side. This meant that the first time I sat up, I got dizzy and was even nauseous as an outcome. Because I couldn't walk, the hospital staff needed to arrange a mechanical sling to transport me to my wheelchair. I had a craniotomy, which meant that from December until late February, half my skull had been taken out. And so I needed a helmet to ensure that I didn't damage my brain while I was recovering from swelling. When I got home, I faced more challenges. I didn't want to go out in public or socialise due to my shaved head and the big scar on my throat, which was visible to anyone who looked at me. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea how to interact with anyone my age because I spent the last chunk of my life only interacting with people significantly older than me. But eventually I got through it. And it wasn't as bad as I had originally thought. I've developed more composite dents since the AVM due to surviving against the odds. I was nothing special. I was just a normal 17-year-old girl. Now I'm choosing to share my story so I can make a positive impact around the world.
Filmmaker
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13 comments
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Missy Kennedy16/10/2023
Amazing Nic you are an inspiration for all people.
J
Jane Zylstra25/08/2023
Such an insight into your journey From the initial shock the mental and physical pain through to your acceptance and ability to share and educate others is truly inspirational and so helpful to others and yourself
D
Deborah Sutcliffe23/08/2023
Nicola as we often say not all heroes wear a cape. You are truly a hero. So much to come to terms with at such a young age and still you made the choice to put yourself out there and inspire others who may be struggling.You are a beautiful and courageous young lady. I'm sure your life will be very fulfilling.
H
Helen Kenwright22/08/2023
You're amazing Nicola a great inspiration to others
J
Jenny Smith21/08/2023
I think you are amazing Nicky.Also bery brave.
M
May Cooksey19/08/2023
I was so moved with your video your strength and determination knows no bounds Continue with your great work
D
Dianne Grieve19/08/2023
What a journey as a teenager As they say Adversity is preparation for greatness. Go Girl
B
Bev Taunton18/08/2023
I have heard your story in snippets over the years and it was wonderful to hear your journey from you Nic. Congratulations on all your achievements
F
Fay Briggs18/08/2023
It's one thing to go through a personal traumatic event but another thing to be willing to share it with the world showing how vunerable you were for so long and how you eventually could own it and thrive through adversity. I'm sure this will help others - especially young people going through some personal trauma. Thank you for sharing.
C
Caroline Pascoe18/08/2023
This is a remarkable documentary of a young woman's journey. It is heartbreaking but inspirational at the same time. What a courageous woman you are.
M
Michelle Brotohusodo18/08/2023
Incredible story Nic you are amazing Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us you are truly one of the most inspiration and brave people I have ever met.
K
Kylie McGregor16/08/2023
Nic you have created something brilliant. This is so inspiring. Youre an incredible human.
Amazing Nic you are an inspiration for all people.
Such an insight into your journey From the initial shock the mental and physical pain through to your acceptance and ability to share and educate others is truly inspirational and so helpful to others and yourself
Nicola as we often say not all heroes wear a cape. You are truly a hero. So much to come to terms with at such a young age and still you made the choice to put yourself out there and inspire others who may be struggling.You are a beautiful and courageous young lady. I'm sure your life will be very fulfilling.
You're amazing Nicola a great inspiration to others
I think you are amazing Nicky.Also bery brave.
I was so moved with your video your strength and determination knows no bounds Continue with your great work
What a journey as a teenager As they say Adversity is preparation for greatness. Go Girl
I have heard your story in snippets over the years and it was wonderful to hear your journey from you Nic. Congratulations on all your achievements
It's one thing to go through a personal traumatic event but another thing to be willing to share it with the world showing how vunerable you were for so long and how you eventually could own it and thrive through adversity. I'm sure this will help others - especially young people going through some personal trauma. Thank you for sharing.
This is a remarkable documentary of a young woman's journey. It is heartbreaking but inspirational at the same time. What a courageous woman you are.
Incredible story Nic you are amazing Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us you are truly one of the most inspiration and brave people I have ever met.
Nic you have created something brilliant. This is so inspiring. Youre an incredible human.
Masterful storytelling Nic You are invincible